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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Going viral on Facebook:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Going bananas on Twitch:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Making waves on Reddit:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Just landed via Instagram:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote celebrating pet owners supporting their dog's glamorous lifestyle.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Paying the bills so my dog can live like royalty. Who's the real boss here? 😂🐾👑"

dedication, dog, dogs, everyone, extravagance, extravagant, hard, humor, lifestyle, pet, shoutout, support, work, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

2 weeks ago

911, activity, calling, dancing, emergency, fine, fun, fun activity, humor, me, plea, stop
I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

3 weeks ago

blind, hear, hearing, i, illegal, interest, someone
Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

6 days ago

boil, boiling, cauldron, every, high, humor, magic, potion, spell, witch, young, young witch
Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

3 weeks ago

excuse, family, hang, hang out, humor, i, joke, kid, parenting, sorry, still, think, weekend
The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

3 weeks ago

autobiography, going, growth, humor, ID, irony, learn, learning, lessons, life, life lessons, mistakes, personal, personal growth, self-reflection, think, title, titles
To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

3 weeks ago

bag, basket, bird, birds, bite, bite hand, box, bridge, bridges, burn, burn bridge, cat, egg, eggs, feeds, fire, hand, ice, idiom, inside, kill, let, list, me, play, put, stone, thin, think, to-do, to-do list, walk

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Reddit this month:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

39 shares on X this month:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

17 shares on Discord this month:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

13 shares on Threads this month:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Just landed via Telegram:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Going viral on Facebook:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Making waves on Threads:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Just shared via Twitch:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Trending via Reddit:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Going bananas on Slack:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Just shared via Threads:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Spotted on Facebook:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨