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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

35 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Spotted on WeChat:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Spotted on TikTok:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Making waves on Reddit:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Going viral on YouTube:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Just landed via Slack:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

5 months ago

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

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Commentary:
Ah, the age-old question that has perplexed humanity since the dinosaurs were trying to figure out where to put their tiny arms on formal occasions! 🦖🧐 It seems the universe enjoys keeping us on our toes, leaving us all scratching our heads and pondering the ultimate conundrum: "What in the cosmic chaos is really going on here?" 🌌🤯

absurdity, beginning, confusion, existential, going, hell, humor, life, people, questions, time, wondering

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

35 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Trending via TikTok:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Live now on WeChat:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

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