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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Just landed via Slack:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Spotted on WeChat:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Trending via YouTube:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Breaking via X:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Just landed via Pinterest:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Spotted on Reddit:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Funny quote about an antique chair that’s seen countless butts, playful and cheeky vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Antique chairs: the VIP seats of history's butt party! 🍑🪑😆

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

43 shares on Facebook this month:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

70 shares on X this month:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Seen just now on Facebook:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Going viral on TikTok:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Going viral on Facebook:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Live now on Instagram:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Making waves on Messenger:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

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