Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Hang in there, it gets worse.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,249

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Shared recently on X:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Going viral on YouTube:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Live now on Instagram:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Freshly posted on X:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Making waves on Facebook:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Just shared via WeChat:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Seen just now on X:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Paying YouTube to not pay attention to the ads they got paid to show? It's an endless loop of funding our impatience! 😂💸📺

ad, ads, company, humor, irony, pay, payment, show, subscription, YouTube

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

2 months ago

apparently, away, humor, ignore, ignoring, lesson, life, life lesson, problem, problems, truth
I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

2 months ago

bowl, cleaning, comfort, cream, distraction, guilty, guilty pleasure, hate, house, housework, i, ice, ice cream, lap, opera, pleasure, soap, soap opera, unexpected
There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

3 weeks ago

Adam, Adam Sandler, better, change, change clothes, changing, clothes, comfort, coming, feeling, fit, home, outfit, relaxation, sandler
The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

2 months ago

charge, days, fat, good, good old days, humor, nostalgia, old, remind, reminder, technology, watch
Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

3 months ago

bartender, context, difference, drinking, humor, job, job difference, loose, loose stool, means, medical, nurse, profession, stool, things
Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

2 months ago

chicken, dinner, eat, egg, family, food, humor, i, joke, wanted, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Going viral on Reddit:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Seen just now on Discord:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Just shared via Facebook:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨