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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has copied:

I’m an adult, but not the β€˜makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has viewed:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has viewed:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has copied:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Turns out β€œYouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Just landed via Discord:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Being strange is exhausting.

Breaking via Threads:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Just shared via TikTok:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Trending via Twitch:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Going viral on X:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Clever humorous text about paying for ads and ad-blockers, playful and witty.
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Commentary:
Paying YouTube to not pay attention to the ads they got paid to show? It's an endless loop of funding our impatience! πŸ˜‚πŸ’ΈπŸ“Ί

, , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m sorry, but when you call me β€˜batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

67 shares on Twitch this month:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

97 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Hate when people ask β€œwhy is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching β€œThanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has viewed:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has copied:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has copied:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

β€œWhat’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Trending via Reddit:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Breaking via Slack:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Just shared via Twitch:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Seen just now on X:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Shared recently on Threads:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Freshly posted on X:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Shared recently on X:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

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