Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, pillows – always there to cushion the blow after a long day of overthinking and dreaming big. 🛌💭 Let's give that hardworking head the royal treatment it deserves! 👑💤 #PillowPower"

bed, comfort, gratitude, hard, hard work, head, humor, own, pillow, rest, sleep, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

0

2 months ago

being, body, cartoon, clothing, duck, half, hate, humor, i, mind, naked, never, preference, top
Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

0

2 months ago

apology, broken, delays, hand, having, humor, machine, smashing, suitcase
Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

0

1 month ago

forget, humor, motivation, optional, orgasm, partner, personal, personal well-being, pleasure, self-care, sexuality, today, well-being
I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

0

2 months ago

birthday, birthday card, card, comparison, disappointment, humor, inside, money, person, self-deprecation
Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

0

2 months ago

activity, animals, appear, cool, experience, fun, hanging, hanging out, happen, just, lot, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, outdoor experience, outdoor fun, outside, start, stuff, things, wildlife
Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

0

2 months ago

after, aspiration, day, fame, health, hospital, humor, irony, maybe, me, mental, mental health, recognition, school, self-deprecation, street

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Twitch this month:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

29 shares on YouTube this month:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

35 shares on Threads this month:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Just shared via X:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Spotted on WeChat:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Going viral on YouTube:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨