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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,977

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Just landed via Telegram:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Going viral on Threads:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Shared recently on X:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Just landed via Facebook:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

1 day ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just waiting for the Ghost of Email-Pausers to reduce my holiday inbox overload! 🎄👻📧

annoyance, before, Christmas, communication, email, ghost, holiday, humor, me, much, need, quit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

1 day ago

art, cat, chill, exist, existence, human, humans, i, job, jobs, just, need, relaxation, why
No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

1 month ago

curiosity, faster, irony, media, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, talk, watch
I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

1 month ago

activity, asking, blush, flirting, fun, fun activity, grocery, grocery shopping, i, know, making, man, melon, melons, men, old, old man, ripe, shopping
Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

1 month ago

food, food storage, fun, humor, kitchen, leftover, storage, store, throwaway, Tupperware
Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

1 month ago

around, digging, everything, grave, here, humor, i, own, responsibility, sarcasm, self-deprecation
Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

5 months ago

block, blocked, greeting, humor, just, normal, normal person, people, person, weird, weirdo

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Live now on Instagram:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Just shared via Discord:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Just shared via Discord:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

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Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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