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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Just shared via YouTube:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Trending via Pinterest:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Shared recently on Slack:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Going viral on Messenger:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Breaking via WeChat:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I've heard of living paycheck to paycheck, but this is a whole new level of urgency! 🚽😂

bowel, bowel movement, daily, daily routine, humor, life, living, movement, people, routine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

0

2 months ago

agree, agreement, before, caution, conditions, humor, i, joke, new, new year, procrastination, read, terms, terms and conditions, year
Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

0

2 months ago

dinosaur, fun, girl, humor, lover, mood, personality, playful, sometimes
Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

0

2 months ago

drinking, hangover, humor, lesson, me, nightlife, party, regret, self-reflection, teach
My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

0

2 months ago

boredom, boring, humor, quit, self-deprecation, shadow, too
I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

0

2 months ago

chance, chances, give, goodbye, humor, i, just, limits, never, relationship, second, second chance, wit
Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

0

2 months ago

equivalent, forget, forgetting, home, humor, leaving, medieval, modern, phone, sword, technology, times

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on X this month:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

42 shares on Slack this month:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

72 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Just landed via WeChat:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Breaking via Telegram:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Just shared via WeChat:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Going viral on WeChat:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Going viral on YouTube:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨