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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Spotted on Slack:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Spotted on Messenger:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like they've got a PhD in judging by covers 📚🔍😂

attitude, humor, i, judgmental, just, looking, observation, people, personality, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

1 month ago
asking, call, coworker, drive, frustration, humor, meeting, question, slap, stop, work, Zoom
You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

1 month ago
before, better, email, finds, God, humor, i, pray, whatever
Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

5 days ago
after, artist, bartender, city, concert, flirt, humor, interaction, liked, most, show, social, social interaction, thinking
“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

1 month ago
artificial, artificial intelligence, future, humor, intelligence, joke, machines, ok, people, robots, smart, soon, tech, tech humor, technology
I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

1 month ago
call, comfy, dress, fashion, floral, flortato, humor, i, me, nelly, Nelly Flortato, potato, self-deprecation, today
Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

3 months ago
bed, excuse, humor, i, late, lateness, minutes, procrastination, sat, sorry, staring, towel, wall

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Just shared via Discord:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Making waves on Messenger:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Spotted on Messenger:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

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Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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