Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,753

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Spotted on Messenger:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Going viral on Threads:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I run a parody bank account.

Trending via Twitch:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you think you're chasing a sunset, but end up needing an umbrella! ☀️🌧️😅"

beautiful, beauty, close, danger, dangerous, distance, dressed, metaphor, nature, people, personality, storm, storms, sunset, unpredictability

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

0

3 months ago

accident, accidentally, always, asleep, best, couch, falling, funny observation, nap, observation, relaxation, sleep, tiredness
Roses are pink. I need a drink.

0

2 months ago

beverage, drink, fun, humor, i, lightheartedness, need, party, pink, poetry, roses, wine
A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

0

2 months ago

blanket, comfort, compression, enough, humor, i, need, relaxation, relief, stress, stress relief, today, weighted, weighted blanket, zip-file
I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

0

2 months ago

depression, emotional, emotional investment, health, humor, i, invested, investment, irony, joke, manage, mental, mental health, mental health joke, mental struggle, people, sadness, say, stock, struggle
Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

0

4 weeks ago

attitude, complaint, hear, humor, i, manic, Monday, want
Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

0

2 months ago

argument, ask, back, communication, humor, lawn, marriage, middle, mowing, relationship, silence, silent, tip, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on X this month:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

21 shares on Slack this month:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Making waves on Telegram:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Spotted on X:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Seen just now on Threads:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Just shared via Instagram:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨