Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Trending via Threads:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Spotted on YouTube:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Making waves on Threads:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Shared recently on X:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Going bananas on Threads:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

0
Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, maybe my appendix is just waiting for the right moment to finally reveal its plans for world domination! 🤔😄🦸‍♂️

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on YouTube this month:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Just shared via Instagram:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Trending via Pinterest:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Going viral on WeChat:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴