Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Trending via Pinterest:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Live now on Twitch:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Spotted on TikTok:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Just landed via Facebook:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

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Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.
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Commentary:
Wow, maybe my appendix is just waiting for the right moment to finally reveal its plans for world domination! 🤔😄🦸‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

78 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

35 shares on Discord this month:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

29 shares on X this month:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

36 shares on X this month:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Spotted on Twitch:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Just landed via Twitch:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Breaking via Slack:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Making waves on Threads:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Going viral on Reddit:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

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