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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Just shared via Instagram:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Trending via Reddit:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Spotted on Messenger:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

1 day ago

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Commentary:
When your Uber ride gives you more jet-setting vibes than a regular cab ride, but without the complimentary peanuts ✈️😂🚗

cost, flight, JetBlue, Miami, NYC, price, ride, ride share, rides, same, share, transportation, travel, travel cost, Uber

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

1 month ago

around, backyard, body, buried, domestic, domestic life, fashion, fun, house, humor, jeans, life, people, wear
Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

1 month ago

bad, health, humor, Instagram, media, mental, mental health, outlook, social, social media, stress, technology, work, work stress
When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

1 month ago

Asian, cultural, cultural mix, enough, food, humor, identity, mexican, mix, popular, popularity, something, stereotype
My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

1 month ago

alcohol, family, family joke, gene, genetics, humor, joke, pool, poor, poverty, sarcasm, too, whiskey
Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

1 month ago

accident, car, cars, horn, Lil, should, silly, smaller, something, sorry
Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

1 month ago

confusion, good, greeting, humor, me, morning, response, sarcasm, where

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Seen just now on Slack:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Going viral on Threads:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Just shared via X:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Spotted on Instagram:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

My love language is being sent money.

No amount of daylight can save us.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

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Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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