Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Seems like the concept of 'wine budget' was lost in translation for this person 🍷⏳ Next time, maybe they’ll stick to the 'price tag' rather than 'time spent' approach 😄⏳ #TimeIsNotMoney"

answer, answering, asked, bottle, conversation, drink, hour, humor, i, know, me, misunderstanding, much, right, someone, spend, spending, wine

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41 shares on Instagram this month:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

24 shares on X this month:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

51 shares on Slack this month:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

80 shares on Slack this month:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

38 shares on Discord this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

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Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

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Going viral on Snapchat:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Just shared via Slack:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Making waves on Messenger:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Wordgag ツ

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Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Keep the laugh going 😂

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

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