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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Live now on X:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Just landed via Reddit:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your brain casts unexpected gymnastic talents for your dreams: "Surprise! It’s Backflip Bob!" 🤸‍♂️😂💫

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

0

2 months ago

chore, dishwasher, domestic, domestic life, household, household chore, humor, irony, just, life, me, media, OnlyFans, social, social media
The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

0

2 months ago

activity, attempt, cartwheel, crazy, day, exercise, fitness, got, humor, i, idea, nostalgia, physical, physical activity, self-deprecating, still
Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

0

2 months ago

bathroom, bathroom break, break, company, company time, humor, office, office supply, procrastination, steal, supply, take, theft, time, why, work, work humor, workplace, workplace humor
Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

0

2 months ago

big, celebration, day, dogs, doorbell, excitement, Halloween, lose, love, pets, reaction, rings, shit
Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, clerk, context, decision, help, here, humor, i, liquor, need, store, yes
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, dictionary, Facebook, getting, gift, humor, post, Santa, witty, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

96 shares on X this month:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

51 shares on Threads this month:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

55 shares on Threads this month:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Long story short, I survived.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Breaking via TikTok:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Seen just now on Messenger:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Going viral on Instagram:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

Just landed via Discord:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Going viral on Twitch:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Making waves on Facebook:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨