Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, the sweet symphony of sorry and asphalt serenading each other! 🚗🕳️ Should we call it 'Car-tic' behavior or just 'Pothole-tic' confession?"

apologize, car, driving, hit, humor, i, personality, personification, pothole, sometimes, vehicle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

0

2 months ago

awkward, cheat, conversation, couple, ever, guys, making, relationship, small, small talk, talk
Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

0

2 months ago

bored, boredom, cheat, cheating, commitment, dating, fall, honesty, humor, humor quote, me, relationship, right, treat
My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

0

5 months ago

chips, diet, drop, eat, eating, floor, i, ones, plan, sometimes
“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, asked, ChatGPT, communication, confiding, corporate, exxon, Exxon Mobil, humor, humor communication, humor relationship, i, inside, inside joke, irony, joke, McDonald’s, mobil, relationship
Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

0

2 months ago

abduction, alien, alien abduction, board, bring, due, extraterrestrial, fee, free, humans, humor, inflation, joke, longer, own, probes, purchase, required, sci-fi, sci-fi joke, space, space humor
Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

0

3 months ago

bio, dating, girlfriend, height, hope, humor, me, profile, put, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

76 shares on Slack this month:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

72 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Just landed via Discord:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Making waves on WeChat:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Just landed via Facebook:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Breaking via Slack:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨