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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Making waves on Facebook:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Going viral on Twitch:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Trending via TikTok:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Trending via Slack:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

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Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.
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Commentary:
"Life is all about balance – some days we're carefree 🌞, and other days we're wide awake worrying about everything under the moon 🌝! Embrace the rollercoaster ride of life, and remember, coffee is always there to help with the awake days ☕️😄!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Trending via Threads:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Going viral on Messenger:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Just shared via Telegram:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Live now on Facebook:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Just landed via Threads:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

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