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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Trending via Twitch:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Just shared via TikTok:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Making waves on Slack:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Spotted on WeChat:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Caught in a love triangle between my recliner and loveseat… Who said being lazy wasn't complicated? 😂🪑❤️ #LazinessOverload"

am, case, cheating, comfort, emotionally, emotionally invested, feel, furniture, humor, i, invested, laziness, loveseat, recliner, relaxation, sometimes, wondering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

1 month ago
body, bomb, daily, daily routine, dark, dark humor, day, every, exaggeration, humor, i, irony, routine, self-deprecation, suicide, suicide bomb, temple
The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

1 month ago
humor, ID, insomnia, procrastination, rest, sleep, thing
I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

1 month ago
book, books, brood, built, castle, humor, introvert, procrastination, reading, unread, unread book, work
For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

1 month ago
busters, culture, ghost, Ghost Busters, humor, least, movie, movie reference, music, nostalgia, number, once, phone, phone number, pop, pop culture, reference, song, think
Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

2 weeks ago
ambition, ask, audacity, big, boldness, cheat, cheat code, code, level, life, major, request, thing, universe
Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

1 month ago
animal, animal testing, ex, humor, joke, relationship, sarcasm, stop, testing

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Just landed via Twitch:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Shared recently on YouTube:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Shared recently on Discord:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

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Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

I think God was high when he made me.

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

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Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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