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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,384

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Just shared via Telegram:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Going viral on Reddit:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Trending via Discord:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Going bananas on X:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Taking notes for the next office meeting: 1) Develop imposter syndrome, 2) Teach a masterclass on "How Not to Do Your Job" 😂📋💼

actually, benefit, humor, i, imposter, imposter syndrome, job, jobs, little, observation, people, self-doubt, sometimes, syndrome, watch, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

0

2 months ago

anything, apparently, communication, culture, guys, hear, humor, internet, internet culture, media, online, say, social, social media
If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, isolation, just, keep, management, me, meet, meeting, myself, self-employed, senior, talking, walking, work
Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

0

2 months ago

direct, direction, excuse, excuse me, funny request, humor, me, nonsense, request
Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

0

5 months ago

block, blocked, greeting, humor, just, normal, normal person, people, person, weird, weirdo
The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

0

2 months ago

chemistry, electron, electrons, humor, joke, moron, neutron, neutrons, proton, protons, science, world
Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

0

4 months ago

back, cool, depression, ever, got, health, humor, inspiration, life, mental, mental health, motivation, recovery, sex, spark, worst

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

70 shares on X this month:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

34 shares on Messenger this month:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Breaking via X:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Trending via Discord:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Trending via WeChat:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Live now on TikTok:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Going bananas on X:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Spotted on WeChat:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Going viral on Telegram:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨