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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Going viral on TikTok:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Breaking via Pinterest:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Spotted on Instagram:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Trending via Discord:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Just shared via Facebook:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Taking notes for the next office meeting: 1) Develop imposter syndrome, 2) Teach a masterclass on "How Not to Do Your Job" 😂📋💼

actually, benefit, humor, i, imposter, imposter syndrome, job, jobs, little, observation, people, self-doubt, sometimes, syndrome, watch, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

0

3 months ago

am, fool, honesty, humor, i, joke, me, once, pure, purity, shame, stop, trust, twice
Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

0

2 months ago

2, accidentally, closed, frustration, humor, internet, just, meaning, past, procrastination, read, tab, time
They should invent crushes that like you back.

0

2 months ago

back, cru, crush, dating, humor, invent, invention, love, relationship, should, unrequited, unrequited love
Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

0

5 months ago

algebra, family, family life, humor, kid, kids, life, marriage, married, parenting, practice, relaxation, relaxing, weeknight
Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

0

2 months ago

advice, crazy, humor, little, need, oh, reassurance, relationship, want, women
People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

0

2 months ago

bad, commentary, humor, indoors, introversion, isolation, people, social, social commentary, stay, talk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Telegram this month:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Trending via Discord:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Going viral on Twitch:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Making waves on Messenger:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Going viral on Reddit:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨