Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,494

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Going bananas on Slack:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Breaking via TikTok:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Seen just now on X:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, a deal my wallet can fully support! 🤑💸 #FrugalGenius #ShopaholicDetox"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

0

2 weeks ago

doubt, humor, i, joke, man, men, sarcasm, skepticism, three, wise, Wise Man
If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

0

3 weeks ago

0.002K, anyone, awareness, exercise, fundraiser, humor, joke, laziness, me, motivation, raise, running, sponsor, wants, weekend
“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

0

2 months ago

air, environmental, humor, joke, love, microplastic, microplastics, pollution, sarcasm, wrong
Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

0

2 months ago

cheers, dish, food, holiday, humor, just, person, Thanksgiving, trust
Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

0

2 months ago

apartment, hell, Shazam, upstairs, whatever
I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

0

2 months ago

anything, enthusiasm, fire, i, joy, motivation, passion, purpose, set, soul, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

64 shares on Discord this month:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

13 shares on Slack this month:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

73 shares on X this month:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Spotted on Slack:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Just landed via WeChat:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Trending via YouTube:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Going viral on Threads:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Just shared via WeChat:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Spotted on Messenger:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Going viral on Threads:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨