Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.