Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Spotted on Facebook:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Breaking via Threads:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Just landed via Telegram:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Shared recently on Threads:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Going bananas on Discord:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mondays are just Fridays in disguise with a bad attitude! 🙃😤📅

alert, attitude, care, check, feelings, humor, Monday, reality, reality check, sarcasm, spoiler, spoiler alert, workweek

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

0

2 months ago

care, even, existence, humor, i, irony, life, perspective, planet, planets, self-deprecation
My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

0

2 months ago

away, chess, eating, every, humor, look away, pieces, strategy, time
I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

0

2 months ago

battery, charged, charging, daily, daily life, humor, i, lay, lazy, life, phone, procrastination, relatable, suck, taking, technology
Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

0

2 months ago

bin, humor, joke, link-up, pencil, pencils, sharpening, wit
I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

0

2 months ago

computer, found, freezing, humor, i, joke, open, technology, troubleshooting, window
And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

0

2 months ago

3, activity, confusion, date, everything, humor, incorrect, months, next, time, tradition, writing, year, yearly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Just landed via WeChat:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Trending via Twitch:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Just shared via Telegram:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Trending via Twitch:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨