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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

53 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Messenger:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Trending via Telegram:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Spotted on TikTok:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Making waves on Slack:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Broadcasted on Threads:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Just landed via YouTube:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Seen just now on Reddit:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Just shared via TikTok:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

6 months ago

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Introducing 'Life Wrapped: reliving all your questionable life choices from the past year! 🙈🔥 Whether it's that regrettable haircut, questionable fashion trend, or that time you hit reply-all by accident, this playlist has got it all. Get ready to cringe and laugh your way through #LifeWrapped2021! 😂🎉"

bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, humor, mistakes, recap, reflection, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, wrapped, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

53 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Live now on Threads:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Just shared via Reddit:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Making waves on Instagram:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Trending via Messenger:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Shared recently on Slack:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

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