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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Just landed via Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Live now on Facebook:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Going viral on Slack:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Making waves on Telegram:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Just landed via Threads:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

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Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.
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Commentary:
"Well, at least you're consistent in your journey from the bottom! 😂 Keep aiming high, you'll get there eventually! 🚀 #PerseveranceGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on WeChat this month:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

39 shares on X this month:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

83 shares on X this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

27 shares on Threads this month:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite hobby is withering away.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Just landed via Twitch:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Seen just now on Discord:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Making waves on WeChat:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Making waves on Reddit:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Going bananas on Slack:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

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