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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,756

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Trending via YouTube:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Just shared via X:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Going viral on Twitch:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Seen just now on Discord:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Just shared via X:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Just shared via YouTube:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Just shared via Telegram:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

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Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.
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Commentary:
Can we petition for a time zone with extra hours just for Sundays? 🌞🕰️😴

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Slack this month:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

100 shares on Slack this month:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

60 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

41 shares on Threads this month:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,902

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Live now on X:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Just shared via Messenger:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Just shared via Facebook:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Going viral on Slack:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Making waves on YouTube:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

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