Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Just shared via Messenger:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Spotted on Slack:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Live now on Instagram:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Going viral on Reddit:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Seen just now on Threads:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm all in for this emotional rollercoaster of optimism and pessimism! 🎢😅🤞

best, brand, excited, excitement, expectation, hope, hoping, humor, irony, new, optimism, pessimism, super, week, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

0

2 months ago

animal, baby, baby cow, calf, cow, half, humor, joke, pun, questions, wordplay
Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

0

2 months ago

agree, back, cars, cooper, drivers, empty, empty stalls, flag, humor, looking, mini, Mini Cooper, need, parked, parking, put, stalls, stop, where
I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

0

2 months ago

attitude, dark, dark humor, here, humor, irony, joy, just, little, mood, optimism, positivity, resilience, spread, trying, while, world, wrong
“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

0

6 months ago

budget, clothing, eating, finance, food, humor, lifestyle, money, spending, where
If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

0

2 months ago

amusement, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, emotion, enter, figure, God, hack, humor, improvement, life, life hack, mindset, mode, motivation, much, positivity, pretty, self, self-improvement, state
It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

0

2 months ago

crazy, entertaining, entertainment, epigenetic, epigenetic memory, fire, memory, open, open fire, real, shit, stare

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

38 shares on X this month:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Spotted on Instagram:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Making waves on Twitch:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Making waves on Pinterest:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Seen just now on Slack:

I would prefer not to.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨