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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,839

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Just shared via Messenger:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Spotted on Slack:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Just shared via Messenger:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like a classic case of "I'm not talking to myself, we're having a staff meeting." 🤔😂💼

confusion, humor, i, just, know, myself, self, self-talk, talk, talking, talking to myself, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

1 month ago
Alexa, cleaning, conversation, household, humor, robot, Roomba, spider, technology, tell
I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

1 month ago
actually, AI, al, animal, authenticity, baby, baby penguin, baguette, beret, buy, cute, cute animal video, even, hate, humor, i, know, me, online, Paris, penguin, question, skepticism, tiny, video, videos
A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

4 weeks ago
1794, 1994, around, asked, bad, birth, date, date of birth, delivery, delivery driver, driver, french, French Revolution, historical, historical joke, humor, i, joke, just, mate, misunderstanding, oh, revolution, right, said, sorry
I’ll see you in your nightmares.

1 month ago
humor, nightmare, nightmares, playful, spooky, teasing
They should invent a day where I feel normal.

4 months ago
day, feel, feeling, humor, i, invent, invention, normal, sarcasm, should, where
I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

1 month ago
anger, call, communication, days, end, frustration, i, miss, nostalgia, phone, phone call, receiver, slam, technology

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Going bananas on Threads:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Spotted on Snapchat:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Seen just now on WeChat:

69 but we both just farting.

Live now on Twitch:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Making waves on Discord:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

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Activity Log ✨

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Starting a new life today, bye.

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

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(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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