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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Going viral on WeChat:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Just landed via Discord:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Just landed via Threads:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Making waves on WeChat:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Shared recently on Discord:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Trending via Threads:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Trending via Messenger:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

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(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.
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Commentary:
Sounds like a classic case of "I'm not talking to myself, we're having a staff meeting." 🤔😂💼

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

28 shares on Instagram this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is an abusement park.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Weirdos gonna weird.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Seen just now on Threads:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Trending via Reddit:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Going viral on WeChat:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Making waves on Telegram:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Trending via WeChat:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Spotted on YouTube:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Spotted on Instagram:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

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