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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Breaking via Slack:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Just landed via Messenger:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Spotted on YouTube:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Breaking via Slack:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

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Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.
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Commentary:
🎄🤪 Not sure if this is a prank or just a new way to spread holiday cheer at work! "Are you joining this meeting?" text could either spark confusion or laughter, or maybe even a frantic search for a missing meeting invite! Either way, it's the season of surprises, right? 😂 #OfficeHolidayShenanigans

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

68 shares on X this month:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

69 shares on X this month:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Going bananas on Reddit:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Just landed via Instagram:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Just shared via YouTube:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Just landed via Threads:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Spotted on Twitch:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

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