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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

28 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Making waves on Telegram:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Going viral on X:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Just landed via TikTok:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Making waves on Facebook:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

5 months ago

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

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Commentary:
🎄🤪 Not sure if this is a prank or just a new way to spread holiday cheer at work! "Are you joining this meeting?" text could either spark confusion or laughter, or maybe even a frantic search for a missing meeting invite! Either way, it's the season of surprises, right? 😂 #OfficeHolidayShenanigans

co-worker, coworker, fun, holiday, meeting, prank, random, random time, text, time, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

28 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Going viral on Discord:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Just landed via YouTube:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Spotted on Slack:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Spotted on Telegram:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Spotted on Twitch:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

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