Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Spotted on Facebook:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Spotted on Slack:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Shared recently on Messenger:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Trending via WeChat:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I love unplanned fun.

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When life's all rainbows and unicorns, and then reality hits you like a Monday morning alarm clock ⏰🦄 #PlotTwist"

awkward, awkward moment, dream, everything, going, humor, life, moment, perfectly, reality, wake

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

0

2 months ago

bad, choice, consequences, decision, future, humor, nobody, shows, stop, time, time travel, travel
I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, confidence, conversation, explain, humor, i, just, right, sarcasm
Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

0

2 months ago

around, ask, awkward, awkward question, bag, corner, difference, dude, family, family life, funny moment, height, height difference, humor, life, moment, much, open, parenting, popcorn, question, sitting, snack, surreal, taller, teenager, walk
When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

0

2 months ago

bus, bus pass, car, conflict, frustration, humor, key, pass, prank, relationship, revenge, want
“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

0

6 months ago

humor, just, person, personality, sleepiness, sleepy, times, timing, tired, wrong
I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

0

2 months ago

dad, exaggeration, family, humor, i, just, small, sneeze, think, village

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Slack this month:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

55 shares on Slack this month:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

12 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Going viral on Telegram:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Going bananas on Messenger:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

May the algorithms be with you.

Going viral on Telegram:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Breaking via YouTube:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Going viral on Discord:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Seen just now on X:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨