Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Seen just now on Discord:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Making waves on Instagram:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Just shared via Discord:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Spotted on YouTube:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Just shared via WeChat:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Making waves on TikTok:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When life's all rainbows and unicorns, and then reality hits you like a Monday morning alarm clock ⏰🦄 #PlotTwist"

awkward, awkward moment, dream, everything, going, humor, life, moment, perfectly, reality, wake

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

0

4 months ago

adult, bear, energy, energy level, exhaustion, functional, hibernation, humor, level, levels, self-deprecation
It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, believe, crazy, election, hard, humor, months, over, politics
Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

0

2 months ago

conversation, frustration, humor, i, joke, me, print, printer, show, sounds, sure, technology
There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

0

5 months ago

away, closing, door, exit, humor, loud, noise, poetry, sound, subtlety, too, walking, walking away
My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

0

2 months ago

across, being, cough, cough drop, cruise, drop, favorite, funny moment, humor, illness, launch, missile, moment, mouth, reaction, room, sick, sickness, sneeze, unexpected
Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

0

2 months ago

again, back, clothes, comeback, fashion, humor, sorry, style, trend, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Facebook this month:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

How is it still this week?

34 shares on Slack this month:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

87 shares on X this month:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Going viral on Discord:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Spotted on X:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Making waves on Twitch:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨