That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

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My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.