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Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Riding the sleepy surf back to Snoozeville! 🌊😴🌙

after, early, fatigue, morning, nap, rest, second, sleep, snooze, tiredness, too, waking, waking up, wave

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

1 month ago
adventure, friends, going, guilt, humor, journey, loser, trip
When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

1 month ago
assumption, going, hate, humor, i, making, me, relationship, say
How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

1 month ago
1, 2, 3, ago, bed, bedtime, clean, cleaning, corner, distraction, five, hours, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, procrastination, room, six, something, stare, start, vintage
Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

2 months ago
exercise, fitness, hell, humor, i, ibuprofen, pain, pain relief, relief, somebody, support, work, workout, yes
And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

1 month ago
after, date, disappointment, expectation, humor, i, legs, relationship, shaved, shaving, think
Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

1 month ago
amusement, anyone, awkwardness, comedy, disgusting, grown, grown man, humor, man, moves, parenting, physical, physical comedy, responsibility, seeing, stumble, train, transportation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Going bananas on X:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Just shared via Telegram:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Going viral on Twitch:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

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Activity Log ✨

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

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That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏