Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Going viral on Messenger:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Trending via Telegram:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Making waves on Threads:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Trending via Threads:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Just shared via TikTok:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mastering the art of code-switching: going from fancy-pants to casual-dude in 2 seconds 🕶️👔➡️👖😄

ability, adjustment, communication, lack, life, life skill, people, skill, social, social skill, speaking, vocabulary

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

0

2 months ago

distracted, distracted driving, drive, driving, driving humor, effect, food, humor, i, passenger, passenger effect, person, road, road safety, safety, seat, sitting
Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

0

2 months ago

cooperating, cute, day, face, humor, self-deprecation, struggle, today, trying
I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

0

2 months ago

chicken, humor, i, morning, scream, understand, wake, wake up, why
It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

0

2 months ago

animal, fast, horse, humor, run, speed, sport, still, suck, weird
What does international law say about a third Margarita?

0

3 days ago

alcohol, drink, humor, international, international law, law, margarita, question, say, third
It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

0

2 months ago

communication, entertainment, humor, new, podcasting, self-talk, talking, term, used, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Making waves on Facebook:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Breaking via YouTube:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Making waves on Reddit:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I need a massage for my brain.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨