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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

40 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Just landed via Slack:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Just landed via Threads:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Live now on WeChat:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Making waves on Instagram:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Spreading quickly via X:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

6 months ago

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

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Commentary:
Well, well, well… If reading 52 books a year is what it takes to become a CEO, sign me up! 📚💼 But let's be real, who has the time for all that reading when you're too busy running the show? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe we should all start aiming for that corner office so we can finally catch up on our reading goals too! 📈📖 #CEOgoals

average, books, CEO, else, humor, nothing, productivity, reading, sarcasm, time, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

40 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Reported on Snapchat:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Freshly posted on Slack:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Trending via TikTok:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Shared recently on Threads:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

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