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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Breaking via Reddit:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Spotted on Telegram:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Trending via Threads:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Going viral on Discord:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

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“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.
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Commentary:
Well, well, well… If reading 52 books a year is what it takes to become a CEO, sign me up! 📚💼 But let's be real, who has the time for all that reading when you're too busy running the show? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe we should all start aiming for that corner office so we can finally catch up on our reading goals too! 📈📖 #CEOgoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Slack this month:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

62 shares on X this month:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Never eat more than you can lift.

12 shares on Slack this month:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

74 shares on Slack this month:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Going bananas on TikTok:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Live now on Messenger:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Shared recently on Threads:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Live now on Facebook:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Live now on WhatsApp:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Trending via Twitch:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Trending via WeChat:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

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