Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Who needs a doctor's prescription when you have a bottle full of sugar-coated intelligence pills? 🤓💊 Warning: may cause sudden bursts of brilliance and questionable decision-making 😂 #SweetSmartiesAntics"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

0

2 months ago

chicken, chicken nugget, chicken nuggets, comparison, craving, dog, dogs, every, food, humor, i, nugget, nuggets, pet, time, want
At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

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2 months ago

bag, bag of chips, bedtime, chips, claw, claw clip, clip, daily, daily routine, day, end, end of day, hair, humor, i, move, ritual, routine, snack, snack time, time
“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

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2 months ago

actually, communication, conversation, humor, i, interaction, me, over, quiet, sarcasm, social, social interaction, speak, talk, talking, thanks, tried, twice
Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

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2 months ago

bag, binge, Doritos, eating, food, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, pleasure, sitting, snaccident, snack, whole
The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

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1 month ago

2, alarm, annoyance, apart, morning, none, person, room, roommate, share, sleep, someone, wake, wake up, worst
Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

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2 months ago

backfire, daily, daily grind, going, grind, humor, irony, job, me, struggle, times, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

45 shares on Threads this month:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

I only accept apologies in cash.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Trending via TikTok:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Going viral on Threads:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Breaking via YouTube:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨