Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Going viral on Facebook:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Just landed via WeChat:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Making waves on Threads:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Just landed via YouTube:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Just shared via X:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Spotted on Discord:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Always a comfort to know we're all in this together, lowering the bar one click at a time 😂🤦‍♂️🌐

best, confidence, dumbest, here, humor, intelligence, internet, never, online, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

0

2 months ago

$2.99, entertainment, frustration, humor, irony, movie, rent, service, services, streaming, streaming service, unavailable, unfortunately, want, watch
I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

0

4 months ago

acceptance, age, argument, arguments, even, fun, humor, i, life, math, patience, right, say, stage, stay, where
There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

0

2 months ago

children, class, family, first class, humor, parenting, travel, travel class
Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

0

2 months ago

challenge, dare, fun, game, home, imagine, party, playing, social, truth
The dragon with the girl tattoo.

0

5 months ago

dragon, girl, tattoo
iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

0

2 months ago

apology, bro, feel, humor, i, iPhone, just, morning, next, right, sleep, software, technology, tonight, update, vibe, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Trending via TikTok:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Just shared via Instagram:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨