Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Breaking via Snapchat:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Just landed via Reddit:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Breaking via Discord:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Breaking via Threads:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just here for the popcorn and drama 🍿👀 #TwitterLurker

behavior, best, forever, humor, media, observer, online, online behavior, social, social media, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

0

2 months ago

activity, allowed, early, early leave, entertainment, fun, fun activity, leave, movie, people, personal, personal time, policy, should, time, time off, want, work, workplace, workplace policy
If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

0

2 months ago

Adele, culture, hello, humor, i, joke, knee, knees, lionel, Lionel Richie, music, music reference, pop, pop culture, prediction, reference, richie, sing, think, weather, weather prediction, wordplay
I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

0

2 months ago

AirTag, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, put, sanity, technology, tracking, wish
I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

0

2 months ago

am, bird, buddy, dreams, give, humor, i, inspiration, morning, motivation, nature, perseverance, saw, today, worm
What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

0

3 weeks ago

alarm, alarm clock, bed, bedtime, before, clock, clocks, hope, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, people, routine, sleep, time, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up, work
Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

0

2 months ago

afterlife, being, heaven, humor, lazy, people, picked, picked up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Spreading quickly via X:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Going viral on Discord:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Trending via Pinterest:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨