Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Just landed via Pinterest:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Trending via Threads:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Trending via TikTok:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a drive-by when you can do a stylish swamp-stalk instead? 🤣🚣‍♂️🌿 #BogsAreTheNewBlocks"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Threads this month:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

30 shares on X this month:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Seen just now on TikTok:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Just shared via Messenger:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Spotted on Reddit:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Spotted on Discord:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Going viral on Slack:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Going viral on Reddit:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Going bananas on TikTok:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

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