Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Just landed via X:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Making waves on Reddit:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Spotted on WeChat:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Making waves on Messenger:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Trending via Twitch:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Just landed via Telegram:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Breaking up with your stylist takes more negotiation skills than a peace treaty 💇‍♀️✂️🤝

break, break up, breaking, comparison, divorce, easier, hair, hair stylist, humor, process, relationship, stylist

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

0

2 months ago

better, clean, clutter, echo, house, humor, irony, order, organization, stuff, unsettling
Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, attack, calm, emergency, grocery, grocery store, health, mental, mental health, panic, people, situation, situations, store, surety, trauma
I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

0

2 months ago

breath, humor, i, intimacy, locked, morning, morning breath, point, romantic, tongue-kissing, where
I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

0

3 months ago

ancestry, family, flaw, genetics, humor, i, inheritance, line, people, quirk, something, wrong
Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

0

2 months ago

activity, energy, exercise, fun, fun activity, humor, me, motivation, need, pyramid, pyramid scheme, scheme, sounds
Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

0

5 months ago

attitude, behavior, different, disrespect, ever, i, men, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Trending via Telegram:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Just landed via X:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨