Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”
  • The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.
  • I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.
  • I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.
  • I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.
  • Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’