Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew Mondays could have such a long extension, right? 🙃 Maybe we should petition to shorten the first 7 days of the week to just 1 day – the elusive 'Fri-monsun'! 😂 #weekendwarrior"

days, humor, me, procrastination, rest, week, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

0

6 days ago

after, blue, bonnie, Bonnie Blue, comparison, here, humor, laundry, load, machine, over, taking, washing, washing machine
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, humor, Monday, procrastination, still, stillness, week, work, work week
Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

0

2 months ago

amazing, announcer, competition, deduction, ever, gymnast, humor, i, life, oh, Olympic, point, point deduction, seen, sports, thing
I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

0

2 months ago

50, biology, body, bones, cells, energy, humor, i, morning, muscles, sleep, time, wake, wake up
I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

0

2 months ago

forced, getting, great, guarantee, humor, i, marriage, married, relationship, sad, somebody, speech, think
You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

0

2 months ago

atheist, belief, believe, conversation, humor, i, irony, joke, skepticism, well, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Trending via YouTube:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Making waves on Instagram:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Going viral on Messenger:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Breaking via Slack:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Just landed via WeChat:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Making waves on TikTok:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨