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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Making waves on Slack:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Just shared via Instagram:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Breaking via Twitch:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Just landed via Slack:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the age-old wisdom of appreciating the forbidden fruit! 🍎🤣 That mysterious allure of someone else's snack always seems to make it taste just a bit sweeter, doesn't it? Just like how the neighbor's grass always looks greener… and their lunch always looks yummier! 🍔😋 #FoodEnvy #TasteOfTemptation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Facebook this month:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

96 shares on Threads this month:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

95 shares on Slack this month:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

51 shares on Slack this month:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

There are too many neglected emojis.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Going viral on Reddit:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Trending via Facebook:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Seen just now on Threads:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Just shared via X:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Making waves on Slack:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

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