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Oh, the age-old wisdom of appreciating the forbidden fruit! 🍎🤣 That mysterious allure of someone else's snack always seems to make it taste just a bit sweeter, doesn't it? Just like how the neighbor's grass always looks greener… and their lunch always looks yummier! 🍔😋 #FoodEnvy #TasteOfTemptation

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I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

1 month ago

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I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

1 month ago

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It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

1 month ago

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Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

1 month ago

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I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

2 months ago

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Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

1 month ago

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Introverts have fun too, we just don’t care if you know…

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Just shared via Telegram:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Just landed via Messenger:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

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The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

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The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

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