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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Trending via Pinterest:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Live now on LinkedIn:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the age-old wisdom of appreciating the forbidden fruit! 🍎🤣 That mysterious allure of someone else's snack always seems to make it taste just a bit sweeter, doesn't it? Just like how the neighbor's grass always looks greener… and their lunch always looks yummier! 🍔😋 #FoodEnvy #TasteOfTemptation

context, different, experience, food, hit, hit different, humor, sharing, yours

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on YouTube this month:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Shared recently on Discord:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Spotted on Facebook:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Going viral on Discord:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Shared recently on X:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

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