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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

Why do men always think โ€œlooking for funโ€ means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

โ€œYouโ€™re an athlete,โ€ I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has copied:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

For as long as that song was, youโ€™d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Spotted on Telegram:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Shared recently on Slack:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctorโ€™s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Just shared via Slack:

Iโ€™m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Breaking via Threads:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Spotted on WeChat:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Looks like the real luxury isn't in the handbags, but in planting roots and expanding horizons! ๐ŸŒฑ๐Ÿž๏ธ Because when it comes to wealth, the best designer is a sprawling piece of landโ€”hoops of gold not included. ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Iโ€™ve got a headache, and itโ€™s affecting my entire future.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

Youโ€™ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via Messenger:

โ€œSanta isnโ€™t real!โ€ Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Making waves on Discord:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Going viral on Messenger:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Toast doesnโ€™t talk. How do you know itโ€™s French?

Going viral on X:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Breaking via Telegram:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because theyโ€™re looking for ideas.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

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ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

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