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Commentary:
"Ah, the marvels of the human body – a complex machine that comes with no instruction manual and requires constant TLC! 🤔💪 Just imagine the designer going, 'Let's include random sneezing and a brain that craves both salad and ice cream – that'll keep things interesting!' 😂 #JustHumanThings"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

1 month ago
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Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

1 month ago
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The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

1 month ago
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Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

2 months ago
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My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

1 month ago
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My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

1 month ago
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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Breaking via Messenger:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Making waves on Messenger:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Making waves on Slack:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Going viral on YouTube:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

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Activity Log ✨

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

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The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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