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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

9 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Trending via Twitch:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Making waves on Telegram:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Live now on Twitch:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

3 months ago

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the marvels of the human body – a complex machine that comes with no instruction manual and requires constant TLC! 🤔💪 Just imagine the designer going, 'Let's include random sneezing and a brain that craves both salad and ice cream – that'll keep things interesting!' 😂 #JustHumanThings"

body, design, human, human body, humor, irony, life, maintenance, much, question, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

9 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Just landed via Twitch:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Just landed via Facebook:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Just landed via X:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Just shared via X:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Breaking via Facebook:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Going viral on Threads:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

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