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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Trending via Instagram:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Making waves on Slack:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Live now on X:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Witty quote about a depressed lion with a humorous, introspective vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Even the king of the jungle has 'mane' character flaws. 🦁😅 #RoaringRealities"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

36 shares on Threads this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,751

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Spotted on Reddit:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Just landed via Messenger:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Just landed via Instagram:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Just landed via Twitch:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

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