Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Breaking via TikTok:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Seen just now on Discord:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Making a baby unimpressed is a whole new level of fail 🙈👶 Better luck next time, champ! Maybe take some baby comedy classes? 😂"

baby, embarrassing, embarrassment, fool, front, funny moment, laugh, laughter, moment, self-deprecation, thing, world, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

0

2 months ago

angry, attitude, disgusting, every, exercise, fitness, fitness struggle, funny attitude, gym, gym life, humor, i, idea, life, meet, mood, people, self-deprecating, struggle, swamp, time, turn, witch, workout, workout mood
If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, isolation, just, keep, management, me, meet, meeting, myself, self-employed, senior, talking, walking, work
Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, aura, humor, observation, past, personality, pilot, travel, walk
If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

0

4 months ago

aging, beard, beard grooming, facial, facial hair, gray, gray beard, gray hair, grooming, hair, hit, humor, joke, self-care
“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

0

2 months ago

actions, consequences, epidemic, humor, issues, just, karma, loneliness, male, male loneliness, social, social issues
I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, i, irony, patience, patient, take, time, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Slack this month:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

90 shares on Slack this month:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

44 shares on X this month:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Just landed via X:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Spotted on Twitch:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Spotted on X:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨