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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

2 hours ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Breaking via Threads:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Making waves on Instagram:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Making waves on Telegram:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Spreading quickly via X:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Going viral on TikTok:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Just shared via Discord:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

6 months ago

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the infamous staff meeting that no one dares to forget! 😂 Darth Vader really showed his true management style with that forceful display of frustration. It seems like the dark side of the Force wasn't just about battling Jedi, but also about dealing with difficult colleagues. 🌌💼 May the HR department be with you!

choke, choking, cool, coworker, culture, darth, Darth Vader, force, humor, lost, meeting, pop, pop culture, scene, sci-fi, staff, staff meeting, star, Star Wars, used, vader, wars, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

2 hours ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Trending via Telegram:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Spotted on Discord:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Just shared via Twitch:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Reported on Threads:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Spotted on Instagram:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Breaking via TikTok:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Trending via Twitch:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

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