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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Live now on Snapchat:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Just shared via Discord:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Going bananas on Threads:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the infamous staff meeting that no one dares to forget! 😂 Darth Vader really showed his true management style with that forceful display of frustration. It seems like the dark side of the Force wasn't just about battling Jedi, but also about dealing with difficult colleagues. 🌌💼 May the HR department be with you!

choke, choking, cool, coworker, culture, darth, Darth Vader, force, humor, lost, meeting, pop, pop culture, scene, sci-fi, staff, staff meeting, star, Star Wars, used, vader, wars, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Threads this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

82 shares on Threads this month:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

64 shares on X this month:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Job-hopping is a funny concept, like ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hate my life over there instead.’

80 shares on TikTok this month:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Life update: it’s getting worse.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Seen just now on WeChat:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Making waves on TikTok:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Live now on Pinterest:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Going viral on Twitch:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

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