Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Freshly posted on X:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Shared recently on Slack:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Freshly posted on Slack:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Trending via Telegram:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally reached the level where caffeine's the only conversation starter I need ☕🤫🤣

aging, coffee, humor, i, introversion, love, me, morning, older, routine, solitude, speaking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

0

2 months ago

flirtation, food, humor, i, invitation, joke, midnight, midnight snack, night, over, snack
I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

0

2 months ago

cinema, days, days off, desire, entertainment, feast, five, fun, high, i, laptop, relaxation, return, row, too, where, work
Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

0

2 months ago

broken, food, heart, humor, just, lasagna, love, never, relationship, saying
The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

0

2 months ago

best, best way, communication, humor, intelligence, me, reach, reach me
A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, common, common sense, humor, irony, need, sense, stupid, wisdom, word
Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

0

2 months ago

am, apology, berry, brain, cave, distraction, eat, humor, i, information, missed, sorry, text

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Slack this month:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

10 shares on X this month:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Going viral on X:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Shared recently on Twitch:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Just landed via Discord:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Going bananas on Slack:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨