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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Breaking via Telegram:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Just landed via Slack:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Going viral on YouTube:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Just landed via TikTok:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Making waves on X:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Just shared via Discord:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

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The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.
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Commentary:
"Finally found my true calling: forest life coach for squirrels! 🌲🐿️🗣️"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

68 shares on X this month:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

41 shares on X this month:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Just landed via Instagram:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Going viral on Telegram:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Trending via Instagram:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Spotted on Slack:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Spotted on Slack:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

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