Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My lips could use some attention today.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Seen just now on Slack:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Just shared via Telegram:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the clock strikes midnight, my inner Cinderella trades the glass slipper for a credit card 💳🕛💸

humor, just, me, midnight, money, night, night owl, online, online shopping, owl, real, shopping, shopping spree, spending, spree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

0

2 months ago

always, distant, distant family member, family, growing, growing up, humor, i, identity, member
I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

0

5 months ago

advice, away, box, came, hear, humor, i, know, millennial, need, needs, never, phone, throw, throw away
You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

0

3 months ago

48, 6, am, day, early, early riser, exaggeration, hours, humor, morning, riser, time, wake, wake up
Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, desire, embarrassing, humor, i, intimacy, relationship, sex, want, why
Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

0

2 months ago

comedy, experience, fun, funnier, humor, joke, laugh, punchline, reaction
Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

0

1 week ago

activation, always, anime, anime character, anime trope, character, characters, eye, know, mode, trope

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Twitch this month:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

You only live once and thank God for that.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Spotted on Twitch:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Just shared via Instagram:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Making waves on Discord:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Trending via Snapchat:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨