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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has copied:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has shared:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has viewed:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both β€” naked people arguing about politics.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

When someone dies people say β€œhe’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Reddit:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Spotted on X:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Trending via Telegram:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Just shared via Facebook:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Making waves on Slack:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

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The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).
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Commentary:
When the clock strikes midnight, my inner Cinderella trades the glass slipper for a credit card πŸ’³πŸ•›πŸ’Έ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on X this month:

β€œIs everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

21 shares on Slack this month:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, β€œWow, this changes everything.”

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Might start a YouTube channel β€œwill it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

18 shares on Discord this month:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We’ve got a shituation here.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has shared:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has shared:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has copied:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has downloaded:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When you said β€œlet’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Making waves on Telegram:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Just shared via Messenger:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Spotted on Telegram:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Seen just now on Threads:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Breaking via YouTube:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Going bananas on Threads:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

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