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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,771

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Going viral on Reddit:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Making waves on Discord:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

5 months ago

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Commentary:
When the clock strikes midnight, my inner Cinderella trades the glass slipper for a credit card 💳🕛💸

humor, just, me, midnight, money, night, night owl, online, online shopping, owl, real, shopping, shopping spree, spending, spree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

5 months ago
activity, bird, birds, depression, feeding, good, health, hobby, mental, mental health, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, porch, pretty, relaxation, sitting, squirrel, squirrels, treatment
If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

1 month ago
back, cutlery, face, humor, kitchen, know, reflection, self-image, someone, spoon, stare
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

1 month ago
again, boundary, fool, humor, joke, lesson, me, never, nudes, once, relationship, shame, times, trust, twice
No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

1 month ago
America, focus, humor, needs, next, president, relationship, self-care, single, term
You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

1 month ago
around, eclipse, emotion, heart, humor, me, relationship, thing, turn, turn around, want
I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

3 months ago
cooking, cooking fail, drank, everything, fail, garbage, hand, hand towel, humor, i, kitchen, literally, over, right, shoulder, towel, understand, while, why, wine

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Live now on Reddit:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Going bananas on X:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Going viral on Twitch:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Aura is the real business card.

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

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The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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