Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Just shared via WeChat:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Making waves on WeChat:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Spotted on Twitch:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Trending via Pinterest:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Trending via Discord:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Making waves on TikTok:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Just landed via Threads:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Breaking via Instagram:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

2 months ago

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the paradox of intelligence: winning the brain game but sometimes forgetting to hit pause! 🧠💡 Remember, even Einstein knew when to relax—because overthinking can turn a genius into a over-caffeinated squirrel! ☕🤯 Sometimes, the smartest move is just taking a deep breath and letting the brain take a coffee break. 😌🚀

figure, health, humor, important, intelligence, irony, less, mental, mental health, self-awareness, smarter, think, thinking, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

2 months ago

cosmic, every, humor, i, me, okay, patience, sign, signs, think, time, universe, wait, waiting
It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

2 months ago

activity, everyone, fun, fun activity, good, important, me, media, photography, photos, pictures, self-image, selfie, social, social media, summer, vanity
Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

2 months ago

ancient, ancient horror, count, fun, horror, humor, reason, think, unleash, why, world
Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

2 months ago

always, chore, household, humor, laundry, lurking, most, relatable, sinister, tasks, waiting
Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

2 months ago

day, debt-free, dog, hours, humor, laziness, least, nobody, pet, sigh, sleeping, unemployed
Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

2 months ago

adult, adulting, appreciate, being, choices, headspace, humor, i, job, just, life, life choices, opportunity, position, responsibility, right, stepping, stepping down, thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

60 shares on X this month:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

84 shares on X this month:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

57 shares on X this month:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Trending via Instagram:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Making waves on Instagram:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Trending via Twitch:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Just landed via Instagram:

Been getting really into nothing.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Breaking via WeChat:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Going viral on Slack:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

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