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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,309

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Just shared via TikTok:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Live now on Facebook:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Just shared via Instagram:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Live now on Twitch:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why do flies always get A's in mood management? They just keep buzzing that annoying tune! 🐝😤🎶

annoyance, buzzing, enough, fly, irritation, mood, ruin, sound, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

0

2 months ago

Adderall, ADHD, day, drug, drug humor, every, exaggeration, extension, fantasy, hours, humor, i, productivity, thinking, time, time extension, unemployed, unemployment, wish, wishful, wishful thinking
Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

0

2 months ago

anything, disappointment, do nothing, humor, i, men, nothing, promises, relationships
At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

0

2 months ago

appointment, blood, blood pressure, doctor, end, humor, irony, medical, own, pressure, self-care
Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, meth, people, simple, teeth
If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

0

2 months ago

conversation, eavesdrop, follow, humor, interaction, just, loud, neighbor, rude, social, social interaction, talk
Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

0

2 months ago

activity, bin, break, childhood, cigarette, equivalent, humor, nostalgia, pencil, school, sharpening, taking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

19 shares on X this month:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

21 shares on Discord this month:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Going viral on Threads:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Trending via WeChat:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Trending via WeChat:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Going viral on Slack:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Just landed via X:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Spotted on Threads:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨