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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,540

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,540

Nov 26, 2025

3,973

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Breaking via Slack:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Making waves on TikTok:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Seen just now on WeChat:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Live now on TikTok:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

3 weeks ago

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the sweet potato, always lending a helping hand (or should we say tuber? 🍠) in the vegetable kingdom. It truly is the Mother Teresa of vegetables, spreading warmth and sweetness wherever it grows! So go ahead, embrace the kindness of the sweet potato and sprinkle some cinnamon on top for good measure 😉.

food, humor, kindest, kindest vegetable, kindness, potato, sweet, sweet potato, vegetable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,540

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,540

Nov 26, 2025

3,973

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Trending via Facebook:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Going viral on WeChat:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Trending via Instagram:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Just landed via Instagram:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

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