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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Making waves on Telegram:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Spotted on Twitch:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Making waves on Threads:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Shared recently on Threads:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Just landed via X:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'traveling light' a bit too literally! 🚂💼😅 #ForgetfulTraveler #MinimalistGoals"

announcer, belonging, belongings, forgetfulness, home, humor, just, keep, left, mine, personal, personal belonging, should, times, train, travel, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, decorate, decoration, fact, holiday, humor, know, November, people, premature, snow, stop, weather
YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

0

1 month ago

carpe, Carpe Diem, diem, humor, irony, know, Latin, Latin phrase, life, life motto, means, motto, people, phrase, sarcasm, slang, stupid, stupidity, yolo
It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

0

2 months ago

30, cut, escalator, frustration, humor, inconvenience, minutes, power, power cut, stand, standing, sucks, waiting
Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

0

2 months ago

adulting, call, communication, even, humor, making, motivation, phone, phone call, procrastination, responsibility, want
Have you tried complaining about it?

0

2 months ago

advice, complaining, complaint, humor, sarcasm, suggestion, tried
I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

0

4 months ago

almost, compliment, finished, humor, love, media, reading, sarcasm, social, social media, tweet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Twitch this month:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

49 shares on Slack this month:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

69 shares on X this month:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Breaking via TikTok:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Seen just now on Discord:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Just shared via Facebook:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Have you tried complaining about it?

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨