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Commentary:
"Word on the street is, the real race against time begins once you start struggling to gracefully enter and exit your sports car… 🚗💨 At that point, it's more of a 'grunt and go' situation! 😆 #LifeGoals"

aging, before, car, enjoyment, fun, getting, getting in, getting out, humor, life, priorities, sports, sports car, trick

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

1 month ago
clothing, cold, humor, men, outside, shorts, wear, winter
The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

1 month ago
activity, blank, common, common experience, confusion, embarrassment, experience, forgetfulness, forgot, high, i, indoor, indoor activity, memory, mind, mind blank, number, room, stand, staring, times, why
One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

1 month ago
bed, both, humor, just, logic, need, night, night stand, one-night stand, people, relationship, sense, sides, single, stand
I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

1 month ago
cooking, dinner, fan, favorite, favorite sound, humor, husband, i, kitchen, making, oven, pretty, range, relationship, sound, start, sure, turning
Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

1 month ago
dating, humor, just, late, love, maybe, patience, relationship, schedule, soulmate
I’m sick of living through history!

1 month ago
frustration, history, humor, living, satire, sick, through

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Seen just now on Slack:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Going viral on Slack:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Just landed via Threads:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Wordgag ツ

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The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

I’m sick of living through history!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

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The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

I’m sick of living through history!

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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