Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Word on the street is, the real race against time begins once you start struggling to gracefully enter and exit your sports car… 🚗💨 At that point, it's more of a 'grunt and go' situation! 😆 #LifeGoals"

aging, before, car, enjoyment, fun, getting, getting in, getting out, humor, life, priorities, sports, sports car, trick

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

0

2 months ago

allowed, bathroom, escape, family, hide, humor, time, visits
At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

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2 months ago

able, bedtime, beer, being, drinking, frustration, help, humor, i, insomnia, maybe, point, relaxation, sleep, sleeplessness, throw, towel
The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

0

2 months ago

calling, cough, excuse, fake, fake cough, humor, i, iTunes, sick, work
The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

0

2 months ago

activity, affectionate, best, cuddle, done, fun, fun activity, humor, intimacy, lighthearted, ones, relationship, where
I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, being, days, Friday, happiness, happy, humor, i, only, realization, time, Wednesday, week
People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

0

5 months ago

annoyance, blind, blinds, closed, flight, humor, hurt, leave, passenger, people, plane, ride, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on X this month:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

30 shares on Telegram this month:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

35 shares on X this month:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Going bananas on TikTok:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Just landed via Reddit:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Making waves on Messenger:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Live now on Slack:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Just landed via Slack:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Just landed via Messenger:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨